Mr. Kitchen (my husband) and I starting dating in September and married at the end of January…


We just celebrated 39 years married. Exception to the rule?


Would I recommend marrying after three months to anyone?

Absolutely not!

What’s the secret

Something I am asked, all the time – What is the secret to a long marriage?  The answer to that is for another time but for certain, what has helped along the way is CELEBRATING VALENTINE’S DAY!  Every year for 39 years.

Bah Humbug

I know. There will be those among you who say, ‘Oh, we don’t need to celebrate Valentine’s. My husband does nice things for me all year round…I have heard that one many times.  Or, ‘Oh, we don’t celebrate Valentine’s it’s just a money- making scam.   My answer?


Well, you did ask.  Well, you didn’t.  That’s my answer to those who did.

Just an aside here. Did you know that marriage DOES NOT make you happy – it might, but only for the first few years.








How come?

In general, married life (and I use that term for any long-term relationship) is fraught with dangers; day to day schedules, money problems, career issues, kids, sex, boredom, and any other number of frustrations.  It is hard work.

What it does give you is a deep connection with another person which gives you love, purpose and meaning.  Often whilst you are dealing with all of the other ‘stuff’ – that connection, purpose and meaning can be lost or at least forgotten.  Use Valentine’s day as another day in your calendar to remember.

Yes, Valentine’s day can be fun and frivolous but you can make it so much more.

Even if you do ‘nice’ things for each other all year round – which I hope you do.  Take time on this day to create even deeper connection.  Do something completely different – together.

Although, gifts are lovely.  IT DOES NOT HAVE TO COST ANYTHING!!!

The ‘money scam’ response is an excuse and a feeble one at that.

Make Valentine’s day a time where you have the intention to attend to and show appreciation for, each other.

In this week’s Happy stuff and fluff video I offer three things that you can do on Valentines day that offer fun, but also the opportunity to find something out about your partner that you didn’t know before.

YOU CAN WATCH IT HERE:        What to do on Valentine’s day

Trust me, how, ever long you have been together, you can always find out something new and interesting about each other – if you remember to take the time.

Valentine’s day reminds you.

Share in the comments what you do for Valentine’s day. I would love to know.